#46: When Diagnostic Pathway Becomes a Door, Not a Box or Label: A shameless process of becoming known
My neurodivergence diagnosis has always been a complicated part of my identity, an ongoing existential process that continues to evolve alongside my sense of self. And in many ways, it should. Diagnoses are, after all, labels, words, categories, boxes we use to create meaning and make sense of our experiences.
At the same time, I know that the absence of acknowledgement, curiosity and understanding, or not having a diagnosis at all, has, at times, led to a deep neglect of potential support and intervention in my life. And support doesn’t have to mean something medicalised or medication-based. What I’m speaking about are reference points: opportunities for reflection, access to people with expertise, and ways of developing identity markers and experiential markers. These become mirrors, reflecting back our experiences, validating them, and helping us connect to our thoughts, feelings, environment, and sensory world.
When Shame Becomes a Gatekeeper
What I’m noticing now is a growing narrative that frames neurodivergence as a “trend.” And what this perspective does, quite subtly but powerfully, is position shame as a gatekeeper to support. When we dismiss neurodivergence in this way, we risk closing the door to care, understanding, and meaningful exploration.
There have been times when I’ve chosen to distance myself from my diagnosis, moments where I’ve resisted identifying with it or redefined it. And that, of course, is my right. But in those moments, I’ve had to remind myself: the label itself can be rejected or stripped away, but what truly matters is what came with it. The support. The interventions. The care. The attention I began giving my experience once I moved closer to a more concrete understanding through a formal diagnosis. Even though I have my very own unique narrative and meaning of my unique experience. That can not be replicated. More on that at another time.
The Need for Understanding & Support
This doesn’t mean there aren’t parts of me, deep, existential parts, that question or even reject the frameworks within which these diagnoses were created. But what I’ve also experienced is that, in the absence of alternative forms of guidance within my environment or community, I was left unsupported, unattended, isolated, and struggling within the world we have built for a certain way of being human.
I’m sharing this because I want you to consider something, whether for yourself or for someone close to you. If you’re exploring autism or ADHD, or if a family member is beginning that journey, or even if something has been flagged but doesn’t meet full diagnostic criteria, the exploration itself still holds immense value. It invites a deeper process of reflection, a way of making meaning and understanding your experience, without shame. We all would benefit from this process, and maybe that’s why so many are seeking it.
The Universal Human Experience
This is something nearly all of my clients have encountered in our work together. Because ultimately, what we’re talking about is the sensory and embodied experience of being human. And everyone benefits from understanding that. Understanding your sensory world, your energy output, your biology and physiology, dopamine, rest, and restoration are universal concepts. Whether or not you receive a diagnosis, engaging with these ideas can help you build a more sustainable life, one that reduces burnout and increases well-being.
At its core, this is about protection. Attention. Care. So we don’t need to label neurodivergence as a “trend” in order to dismiss it. Because when we do, we’re not just expressing an opinion; we’re gatekeeping. We’re closing off the possibility for someone to deepen their self-understanding and expand their capacity to respond to their own well-being.
Self-Exploration, Meaning & Becoming
And it’s worth noticing, too, that in those moments, we may be projecting. Projecting our own limitations around self-exploration, our own discomfort, or even our own self-rejection onto someone else.
So even briefly, I invite you to consider: how might you benefit from knowing yourself more deeply? From moving closer to your own emotional and lived experience through this kind of inquiry? What might that open up for you in terms of connection, joy, and understanding?
If you are in the process of exploring neurodivergence or supporting someone who is, it can be helpful to step back and ask: What is the role of this exploration? What purpose does it serve? What function does it have, regardless of whether it leads to a formal diagnosis?
From my perspective, this process is deeply existential. It’s about identity formation, becoming, taking ownership, and developing agency over the life you live. Because for others to truly know you, for the world to understand you, you first have to know yourself. You have to understand what it feels like to be you. We have to witness, validate, and recognise ourselves before anyone else can. And sometimes, even when something resonates deeply, being told “this is what you are” takes time to integrate. It requires working through your life experiences, your internal narratives, and the external narratives you’ve absorbed. It takes time to ask: What does this actually mean to me?
Because while there are shared traits and common ground within diagnoses like autism or ADHD, your experience is ultimately unique. Your version of autism, your version of ADHD, these may overlap with others, but your story is entirely your own. And that story should be narrated by you.
As outsiders looking in on someone else’s experience, our role is not to define it for them, but to listen to their meaning, their understanding, their narrative, their truth, and their reality.
Is Your Body Sending You a Signal?
If this resonates with you, you don’t have to navigate this process alone.
At Hue Therapy, we support you in developing a deeper connection with yourself, helping you build that inner anchor, unpack what no longer serves you, and reconnect with who you truly are beneath the conditioning.
This is a space where you can explore your story, be seen, heard, and known, and begin to trust your own voice and intuition again.
If you’re ready to move toward a return to what it feels like to BE you, we invite you to take the next step.
Book your FREE 15 min introductory session TODAY.