#17: The Nuances of Positive Psychology: Exploring the Importance of Grief in Pursuit of Happiness

In the realm of psychological research, positive psychology has garnered substantial support for its effectiveness. Yet, it prompts a significant question: should we pause to consider its cultural, systemic, spiritual, and psychological implications? It's well-established that each therapeutic approach must be tailored to individual needs, suggesting that adopting positive psychology may not be suitable for everyone. An example of positive psychology includes adopting a strength-focused perspective or attempting to find the 'silver lining.' 

In this blog, I invite contemplation of the potential adverse effects of positive psychology, encouraging each of us to reflect on when it's appropriate to embrace this approach.

The Pursuit of Happiness

We reside in a culture that places a premium on a positive, capitalist mindset. This, coupled with The Digital Age's burgeoning culture of toxic positivity and unrealistic standards, exerts immense pressure on individuals to appear perpetually happy, optimistic, and successful.

This culture extols the virtues of success, fostering a compulsion to conform and achieve while externalising one's worth. Consequently, people often find themselves feeling inauthentic, inadequate, and anxious. This rigid definition of happiness, fulfilment, and self-worth results in a superficial and narrow perspective.

The alternative isn't straightforward; it necessitates vulnerability and self-love, which, given the existing systemic structure, can be intimidating for many. It is something we should collectively grieve.

One wonders about the potential repercussions of avoiding or bypassing our 'negative' emotions. As a society, we often fear confronting our emotions for various historical and cultural reasons. Shifting our focus solely towards positivity might cause us to miss the essential introspection and internal questioning that lead to healing and problem-solving.

The Dark Side of Positive Psychology

It's worth considering that the promotion of positive psychology can inadvertently lead individuals to suppress their genuine negative emotions. Positive psychology often downplays the significance of acknowledging and exploring our 'shadow selves' – those aspects of our being that are less pleasant or uncomfortable. Concentrating solely on positivity may lead to missed opportunities for deeper self-awareness and growth, which can result from addressing our darker aspects. This approach invalidates the genuine emotions that make us human, hindering the path to liberation.

By repressing, diverting, or ignoring challenging emotions, we may overlook opportunities to learn how to effectively address or cope with the very real, necessary, and often justified feelings. These emotions frequently serve as signposts guiding us towards transformation and liberation.

“As a society, we often fear confronting our emotions for various historical and cultural reasons. Shifting our focus solely towards positivity might cause us to miss the essential introspection and internal questioning that lead to healing and problem-solving.”

So, What's the Solution?

While acknowledging the negative impacts of positive psychology, it's crucial to maintain a balanced perspective. Positive psychology has undeniably contributed to our understanding of wellbeing. However, like any approach, it has limitations and potential downsides. The essence of the human experience lies in balancing the light and dark, the positive and negative. It involves navigating the natural fluctuations between joy and despair and learning to hold ourselves in all that is felt.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while positive psychology has its merits, it is vital to recognise the complexities that arise when we prioritise positivity to the exclusion of genuine, human emotions. Balancing both the positive and negative aspects of our lives is a profound part of our journey towards self-discovery, growth, and a fuller understanding of what it means to be truly human.

These ideas and reflections have been inspired by the wisdom and knowledge of many remarkable women, and I wish to express my gratitude and acknowledge my teachers and mentors: Ella Bancroft, and Aimee Aroha.

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